Just a Collection of Quotes

Was thumbing through a quote site and collected some that I think would be useful for inspiring fic. So, anyone looking for prompts, well maybe you can find something here (and if you use one, comment here with a link to your story).



“I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.” -- Woody Allen (American Actor, Author, Screenwriter and Film Director, b.1935)

“An optimist will tell you the glass is half-full; the pessimist, half-empty; and the engineer will tell you the glass is twice the size it needs to be.”

“When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.” -- Mae West (American Actress and sex symbol, 1892-1980)

“See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.” -- Robin Williams (American actor)

“When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.” -- Elayne Boosler (American Comedian and Activist. b.1952)

“Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.”

“A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that her mouth is extremely beautiful when her lips are closed.”

“I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.” -- Rodney Dangerfield (American Comedian, 1921-2004)

“The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.” -- Franklin P. Jones (American Businessman, 1887-1929)

“I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.” -- Winston Churchill (British Orator, Author and Prime Minister during World War II. 1874-1965)

“If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?” -- Will Rogers (American entertainer, famous for his pithy and homespun humour, 1879-1935)

“If you can't convince them, confuse them.” -- Harry S Truman (American 33rd President of the United States, 1884-1972)

“Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright until you hear them speak.”

“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.” -- Drew Carey (American Comedian, b.1958)

“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.”

“You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.” -- Dave Barry (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

“Sometimes I lie awake at night, and ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'” -- Charles M. Schulz (American cartoonist, 1922-2000)

“Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock.” -- Will Rogers (American entertainer, famous for his pithy and homespun humour, 1879-1935)

“A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people.” -- Will Rogers (American entertainer, famous for his pithy and homespun humour, 1879-1935)

“Nothing you can't spell will ever work.” -- Will Rogers (American entertainer, famous for his pithy and homespun humour, 1879-1935)

“You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.” -- Robin Williams

“Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose.” --Robin Williams

“What's right is what's left if you do everything else wrong.” -- Robin Williams

“Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.” -- Robin Williams

“Spring is nature's way of saying, "Let's party!"” -- Robin Williams

“We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.” -- Robin Williams

“I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you.” -- Robin Williams

“Life is one fool thing after another whereas love is two fool things after each other.” -- Oscar Wilde (Irish Poet, Novelist, Dramatist and Critic, 1854-1900)

“If you can't answer a man's arguments, all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.” -- Elbert Hubbard (American editor, publisher and writer, 1856-1915)

“Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect.” -- Benny Hill (English Comedian and Humorist, 1924-1992)

“One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.” -- Groucho Marx (American Comedian, Actor and Singer, 1890-1977)

“If we're not supposed to eat animals, how come they're made out of meat?” -- Tom Snyder

“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.” -- Erma Bombeck (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)

“Science... never solves a problem without creating ten more.” -- George Bernard Shaw (Irish literary Critic, Playwright and Essayist. 1925 Nobel Prize for Literature, 1856-1950)

“Science and art belong to the whole world, and before them vanish the barriers of nationality” -- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (German Playwright, Poet, Novelist and Dramatist. 1749-1832)

“Science is not about control. It is about cultivating a perpetual condition of wonder in the face of something that forever grows one step richer and subtler than our latest theory about it. It is about reverence, not mastery.” -- Richard Powers

“I am among those who think that science has great beauty. A scientist in his laboratory is not only a technician: he is also a child placed before natural phenomena which impress him like a fairy tale.” -- Marie Curie (French Physicist, twice winner of the Nobel Prize, 1867-1934)

“One thing I have learned in a long life: that all our science, measured against reality, is primitive and childlike - and yet it is the most precious thing we have.” -- Albert Einstein (German born American Physicist who developed the special and general theories of relativity. Nobel Prize for Physics in 1921. 1879-1955)

“Sex appeal is fifty percent what you've got and fifty percent what people think you've got.” -- Sophia Loren (Italian film Actress, b.1934)

“Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.” -- Billy Crystal (American actor, comedian, director, writer, producer, b.1947)

“Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.” -- John Barrymore (American stage and film Actor. 1882-1942)

“Sexiness wears thin after a while and beauty fades, but to be married to a man who makes you laugh every day, ah, now that's a real treat.” -- Joanne Woodward

“Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.” -- Woody Allen (American Actor, Author, Screenwriter and Film Director, b.1935)

“Sex is nobody's business except the three people involved.”

“Laughter and orgasm are great bedfellows” -- John Callahan

“Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.” -- Woody Allen (American Actor, Author, Screenwriter and Film Director, b.1935)

“An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex.” -- Aldous Huxley (English Novelist and Critic, 1894-1963)

“A promiscuous person is a person who is getting more sex than you are.” -- Victor Lownes

“Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any.”

“Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.” -- Steve Martin (American Comedian, Writer, Producer, Actor and Musician. b.1945)

“What makes the universe so hard to comprehend is that there's nothing to compare it with.”

“Wouldn't it be much worse if life were fair and all the terrible things that happen to us, come because actually deserve them? So now I take comfort in the general hostility and unfairness of the Universe” -- Marcus Cole (Marcus Cole was the Ranger liaison to Babylon 5. Jason Carter played the role.)

“The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers.” -- Scott Adams (American Cartoonist, b.1957)

“The universe, they said, depended for its operation on the balance of four forces which they identified as charm, persuasion, uncertainty and bloody-mindedness.” -- Terry Pratchett

“All the evidence shows that God was actually quite a gambler, and the universe is a great casino, where dice are thrown, and roulette wheels spin on every occasion.” -- Stephen Hawking (English Physicist, b.1942)

“Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.” -- Andre Gide (French writer, humanist and moralist, 1947 nobel prize for literature, 1869-1951)

“It is only in adventure that some people succeed in knowing themselves - in finding themselves.” -- Andre Gide (French writer, humanist and moralist, 1947 nobel prize for literature, 1869-1951)

“There are two kinds of adventurers: those who go truly hoping to find adventure and those who go secretly hoping they won t.” -- Rabindranath Tagore (Indian Poet, Playwright and Essayist, Won the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1913, 1861-1941)

“Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.” -- Helen Keller (American Author and Educator who was blind and deaf. 1880-1968)

“Man could escape danger only by renouncing adventure, by abandoning that which has given to the human condition its unique character and genius among the rest of living things” -- Rene Dubois

“Art flourishes where there is a sense of adventure.” -- Alfred North Whitehead (British Mathematician and Philosopher, 1861-1947)